July 7th, 2008 by Admin

What do you call a dead parrot?

A Polygon.

July 7th, 2008 by Admin

Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.

July 7th, 2008 by Admin

:

Mathmatician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Statistician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Computer Scientist — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, ….

July 7th, 2008 by Admin

Statistics are like a bikini; What is revealed is interesting; What is concealed is crucial.

July 7th, 2008 by Admin

There were a physicist, a circus strong man, and a statistician marooned on a desert island. A box of canned food washes ashore, and the question is how to open the cans. The physicist suggests dropping them from the trees so that they break open. The strong man says that’s too messy. Instead, he will rip the cans open with his bare hands. The statistician says that’s still too messy, but he knows how to open the cans without making a mess. “First,” he says “assume we have a can opener.”

July 7th, 2008 by Admin

Deviation is considered normal.
We feel complete and sufficient.
We are “mean” lovers.
Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
We are right 95% of the time.
We can legally comment on someone’s posterior distribution.
We may not be normal but we are transformable.
We never have to say we are certain.
We are honestly significantly different.
No one wants our jobs.