July 7th, 2008 by Admin
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
“Nice bike,” the cop said. “Did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yep,” the little girl said, “he sure did!”
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, “Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it.”
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, “Nice horse you got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the huge dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he’s never around when you need him.
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed
over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side
lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with
that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s
your hurry?”
To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “what do you do?”
I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.
The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked.
“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge!”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
A policeman arrested a prostitute, and the following conversation occurred.
Girl: I’m not selling sex!
Officer: Then what are you doing?
Girl: I’m selling condoms and offering a free demonstration!
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her.
A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, “What do you think you’re doing?”
After a moment the man replied, … “Well, I’ve always wanted to strike a happy medium.”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia.”
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well… OK… but don’t let me catch you speeding again.”