July 7th, 2008 by Admin
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The candidate said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The HR Person said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! Are you kidding?”
And the HR Person said, “Certainly, …but you started it.”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
15. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
14. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
13. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN…
…the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
…the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area.
…my assistant began responding to my memos with, “Yeah, whatever.”
…I got a “It’s for you loser” wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime.
…my new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx-16 last weekend.
…the Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record.
…the Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract.
…I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work.
…my parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster.
…my secretary sez things like “Get the phone, my nails aren’t dry.”
…three people began helping me write a “desk manual” for my job.
…the LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.
…a large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets.
…the receptionist began saying “Who ???” to anyone calling on me.
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.
- Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.
- Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.
- Old ministers never die, they just get put out to pastor…
July 7th, 2008 by Admin
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
- Old actors never die, they just drop apart.
- Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.