September 7th, 2008 by Admin

The visiting church school supervisor asks Little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows Little Johnny, as well as his whole family, very well and can vouch for him. If Little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.

Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: “I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the damned wall.”

September 7th, 2008 by Admin

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”

September 7th, 2008 by Admin

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”

So Johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

- First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse…

so he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

- Ok, now take off my skirt…

and he takes off her skirt.

- Now take off my bra…

which he does.

- And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.

and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says,

“Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”

September 7th, 2008 by Admin

Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father, “Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.”

The father thought some and said, “Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let’s say that I’m capitalism because I’m the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?”

Little Johnny said, “Well, Dad, I don’t know, but I’ll think about what you said.”

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was woken up by his brother’s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper.

So, he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, “Dad, I think I understand politics much better now.”

“Excellent, my boy,” he answered, “What have you learned?”

Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, “I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future’s full of crap.”

September 7th, 2008 by Admin

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

Little Johnny says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

September 7th, 2008 by Admin

A teacher notices that Little Johnny, at the back of the class, is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what’s up. He’s quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he’s quite itchy.

The teacher has him go down to the principal’s office to phone his mom, and ask her what he should do about it.

He does this, returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there’s a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

“I thought I told you to call your mom,” she says.

“I did,” he says, “and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon she’d come and pick me up from school.”