June 7th, 2008 by Admin
The farmer was out working in his field, about a half mile from his house.
In the distance, he sees his six year old son running to him. When the son arrives, he tells his father that a preacher has showed up unannounced. The father asks his son which local preacher it is. The son responds that he hasn’t seen him before.
The farmer tells his son that he has a little more work to do before he can head back to the house.
He tells his son to go back to the house and ask the preacher if he is a Methodist. If he says yes, then go hide the fried chicken that his mom is making.
If the preacher says he is a Protestant, then the son is to go hide his moonshine.
If the preacher says that he is a Baptist, the son is to sit on his mother’s lap until he gets there!
June 7th, 2008 by Admin
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the minister’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the minister.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The minister looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”
June 7th, 2008 by Admin
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
“Have you any last requests?” asked the Chaplain.
“Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”
June 7th, 2008 by Admin
There’s that man, who has a cock 50 cm long. And he can’t get fucked, cause’ no lady can take it that sky-high. Well, he’s desperate and the only way out seems the Ookaburra witch. Well, the man decides to seek help from the witch. Entering the dark cottage, a voice speaks: “I know why You are here… 3 kilometers east from here there is a swamp. In the middle of the swamp on a stone sits the largest frog on earth. If You get him to answer “no” to one of Your questions, Your cock will get 10 cm shorter.”
Well, in the swamp they meet and after a little thought he asks: “Frog, will you marry me?” - “No”
The man goes behind a small tree and checks it out - wow! 10 cm shorter!
Well, surely enough he goes again and asks: “Frog, will you marry me?” - “No!”
He goes behind the tree again and looks: only 30 cm long! 20 cm would be just right…
Again, he asks: “Frog, will you marry me?” - “How many times do I have to say - NO!, NO! and once more NO!!!”
June 7th, 2008 by Admin
A red head goes for a drive in the country and she has to stop as there is a farmer who is moving his sheep from one pasture to another across the road. She rolls down the window and says to the farmer, “If I can tell you the exact number of sheep that you have, can I keep one?”
The farmer figuring that a city girl would never be able to agreed.
The red head guesses the number and is 100% correct. I mean not off by one sheep.
The farmer is an honest man and tells her that she did guess the right number.
She gets out of her car, selects her animal and puts it in the car. Just before she drives away, the farmer asked her a question. “If I can tell you the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?”